1. Guys giving you the middle finger – Dude, unless you’re 13 and are giving the ol’ sneaky rude finger to your teacher when their back’s turned, flippin’ the bird doesn’t make you a bad ass. This is not going to pull the babes.
2. Mate who is most def still in school – Speaking of young’uns. It’s my understanding that one must be 18 years of age to experience the joys of a left or right swipe. Someone’s messing with the system. I wouldn’t say I’m a stranger to the younger man but this is ridiculous! No, I’m not interested in coming round to your parents place for a movie later… they would probably have me arrested.
3. Fella’s in group shots – Okay, so it’s good to see that you know how to have a good time with your boi’s but it’s also important to know what you look like. Disappointingly 9 times out of 10 the guy is the least attractive one in the bunch! This is not a great first impression.
4. Men with their motor vehicles – Maybe I’m just speaking for myself here but I don’t need to know what yo’ wheels look like in order to decide whether I’m swiping left or right.
a) He is a guy who doesn’t have a life outside of a girlfriend so only has ex-couple shots on his Facebook.
b) He is currently in a relationship but keen for a cheat (totally busted a dude on that one. How dumb can someone be?)
c) He wants to show you the standard of woman he can pull. *yawn* Not impressed.
6. A bloke with a Tiger – I have no idea why men think that a picture of them in Bali patting a drugged up tiger will make them instantly attractive to the opposite sex. Is this an attempt to evoke some kind of animalistic desire? It doesn’t.
7. Mr Persistent – It’s all cool to start up a conversation with a match, after all, that’s what Tinder is all about! It is not cool, however, to post a girl 5 different greetings over the course of the next few days. If I wasn’t keen to start a conversation after you said ‘hey’, I’m not going to change my mind when you send me a ‘hello’ 5 hours later. Desperation ain’t in style this season.
8. Emoti-con man – Nothing turns me off quicker than a man going to town on emoticons. The occasional ‘emoto-drop’ here and there is fine for emphasis but I don’t need a sly winky face at the end of every sentence in order to grasp the concept that you are flirting. As my mother would say “use your words”…As I would say “Is this guy f*cking serious?”
9. Topless Tony – No matter how good the rig, a topless pic is not going to tempt me to start a conversation with you. Great for a mickey-merve… that’s where it ends.
10. This guy…. Need I say more?
What are some other dude that give you the Tinder creeps?
Until next time… That’s what she said.